Tributes

It's been a while since I've had to really say 'goodbye' to someone I love. But then again after my trip to West Virginia I realized that it was merely a 'we'll see you later'

This post is to tributes that have been unspoken until now.

First, is to a Grandmother who is fighting many battles right now. And in the midst of a victory and loss she showed herself how she really is. Tired, heartbroken, sincere, and hopeful. I've known her to be a woman of few public words but in private a wealth of knowledge. What I would give to spend several days doing menial things but in the process be in an environment to ask questions and get her take on things. I look forward to doing this! Nana, this may be why I like to clean with you. Be assured my motives are pure :)

With the passing of her husband, and the very very short time I was face to face with her I sensed what it feels like to mourn, and experience death, but it was not through many tears. True mourning was all encompassing, but it wasn't the dark gloom as I thought it would be, when my Grandfather passed. It was like the crispiness of Spring. When all the memories come flooding back. Of tender moments that make relationships last forever! But also (this doesn't go along with spring) the tender reminder that a loved one is gone. Excuse the weirdness though, but I wish for more pseudo-deaths, or something like it that would spark such vivid memories from the smell of their home to the cracks in the sidewalks along Annadale lane. There are so many memories packed into inanimate objects. I struggled to stay in the present when I was there because there were so many thoughts that took me away. At the end of the day I labored to go to sleep because I was banking away all the memories I came in contact with vowing not to forget. Sure, I would but not the underlying feelings of trust, admiration, inspiration, love and joy, that came from those few square feet of home and property. Nana and Pop's home is magical. Journal entiries will continue to go unfinished with these thoughts.

Second, Pop. My Pop!! Tributes of ones' life are interesting; as accounts were spoken of my Grandfather after his funeral I couldn't help but credit Tim Burton in his attempt to theatrically capture this notion of how a life touches others. The closing scene of an all time favorite, Big Fish, the father's funeral was attended by folks who would never have gathered to one place without this person. Quite beautiful. And so it was with this post memorial lunch in, people sharing stories about my grandfather some I'd never heard before. Inspired me to really live whole heartedly today, as our lives are intertwined with others and we will be remember for what and how we treated those we come in contact with. Regardless of how I die this is something I care about, to do the right things for the right reasons.

Third, tribute to my family. *It's late at night*, but I think moments would be better preserved if someone managed to retract the mind's eye. I would invest, because I don't want to forget "Mr. Miyagi", and laughing at Diary Queen with Leanne and Frank, watching Rocco and Joshua. The moment at Greenwood Cemetary finding a Mr. Morse. Glimpse's of my parents, siblings, and extended family's feelings across a spectrum of emotions. And sensing the sacrifice to be together at one significant occasion, regardless how short the stay was.